I have a funeral to attend this weekend. There is nothing like an "untimely" death to force one to examine life.
My biggest frustration with being a mother is the fight for my time. "My time." I feel like I am often trying to scuttle away to get a moment of quiet to myself. I've taught the kids to stay in their rooms quietly until 7am to give me an hour of peace in the morning (which lately I've been sleeping through...). They have an hour long quiet time in their own rooms each afternoon (which lately I've been sleeping through...). I try to escape for a walk alone when I can (and leave the iPod at home!!).
Over the years I've worked hard to change my perspective and I no longer resent the time they take - I give it freely (mostly). I now enjoy my time with them (mostly). I've learned to find and gratefully accept moments of quiet as it is presented in my day rather than furiously striving to carve out "me time". We are all more peaceful.
However, despite all my previous whinging and gnashing of teeth, I still manage to waste a shocking amount of precious time. TV. Games. Silly books. Podcasts and sermons. Music. Noise. I know, everything in balance.... but when time is short shouldn't it be spent wisely? I no longer listen to God's voice - I have no time. I no longer contemplate - I have no time. I no longer exercise - I have no time. I no longer get up early to spend any quiet time getting ready spiritually for the day - I am too tired because I have no time. Time to make a change. Time to declutter my time.
Time is a gift. We do not know the "number of our days" (Job 14:5). The days given are a gift worthy of great gratitude. Thousands of gratitudes.
May we always find time to hear God's voice. May we always find time to savor the snuggles of our loved ones. May we always find time to think big thoughts and pursue big dreams. May we always find time to express gratitude for the life we have been given to LIVE. May we always find time to live.
"Lean into the things in front of you and there you will find God's Kingdom." Rob Hall